“Evening Rob,” begins Andy Gordon. “As Scott’s MBM last week gave us nine goals and all-time classic, if tonight doesn’t meet expectations do we email you with complaints/refund requests?”

They should be directed to the readers’ editor, but my email will be open when the tenth goal goes in.

It was a soundbite designed to go viral, the kind the ex-pros in the TV studios are always looking to confect; snappy, heavy on hyperbole, bang in the moment. Thierry Henry made it pop on Tuesday night as he interviewed Bukayo Saka on CBS Sports after Arsenal had beaten Atlético Madrid to advance to the Champions League final. “We were the Invincibles. You will be the Unforgettables,” Henry said.

There it was, as laid out by one of the greats, the goalscoring hero of Arsenal’s unbeaten bolt to the 2004 Premier League title, the last one they won.

Saka, who scored the winner in the second leg at a delirious Emirates Stadium, and his teammates can see the path to glory. Actually, it is more than that. It would be immortality. Because if they can hold off Manchester City to win the league and add the Champions League in Budapest on 30 May, it would top anything any group of Arsenal players has achieved.

“Please spare a thought for New York,” says Peter Oh, “the only city named in the classic tune Pop Muzik that’s not alive in the Champions League. (And no, they’re no longer in the Concacaf Champions Cup either. Sorry, Big Apple.)”

Why are you bringing Kajagoogoo into this?

Go on, treat yourself

The players are on a yellow card

None. Nada. Zilch. Bugger all. The only way to miss the final through suspension is to be sent off tonight.

Ousmane Dembélé grins when he says that, if he does not press, he will be benched by Luis Enrique. The Ballon d’Or winner does not do his defensive work under duress. Like the rest of his teammates, he seems to derive enjoyment from a part of the game that was once seen as unnatural. Attackers would attack and defenders would defend; simple rules for a simple game. But demands have changed.

The forward line of Kylian Mbappé, Lionel Messi and Neymar was a mouthwatering prospect but they failed to take Paris Saint‑Germain close to a Champions League title and there was a lack of joy in their work. All attack and no defend made PSG a dull watch. There was a lesson in their failure: that football had changed and matches could not be won by the sheer weight of their attacking talent.

In the novel Rabbit, Run, John Updike has one of his characters, a groovy and progressive 1960s priest, calling round to talk to his fellow minister, a hard German Lutheran, about the secret doubts he harbours about his faith. Is the doctrine really necessary? Is hell just, you know, a metaphor? He likes Jesus. But maybe he also likes sinful things, like sex and recklessly open attacking football.

The hard German Lutheran takes one look, curls his lip and tells the groovy progressive priest to get down on his knees in the kitchen and beg for forgiveness. Who is he to reason with divine suffering? Life is pain. Joy is pain. Pain is pain. Frankly, the groovy priest who likes flying full-backs and an open midfield disgusts him. He will burn in hell for his spineless debauchery. The groovy priest leaves in tears.

Cutting straight to the views of Clarence Seedorf on Amazon Prime after the 5-4 between Paris Saint-Germain and Bayern Munich on Tuesday night felt a bit like this. Seedorf is an excellent pundit, hugely informed and quietly twinkly, with the brow, the jaw and the eyes of some terrifyingly austere US president, all brackish integrity and ramrod restraint, but dressed in golf clothing and stood next to Wayne Rooney.

What Seedorf said about the virtues of structure, about entertainment versus restraint, was in many ways very Dutch, even perhaps quite Lutheran in tone. Yes, goals are good. Fun is fine. But football is also control and defence. Football is not conceding four goals at home. Arsenal and Atlético Madrid can study this, feed on it as a weakness to be gouged open. And good luck to them both with that.