39 min: Kvaratskhelia, facing the wrong way on the halfway line, spins Stanišić with ease and looks like tearing off towards goal. But Stanišić does well to get back, and launches a counter. Suddenly he’s clear in the PSG box on the right! But he hesitates when he should be shooting, allowing Pancho to get across and block. This is beyond absurd. Beautifully absurd.

37 min: Diaz jinks his way into the PSG box down the left. He slips in Musiala to his right. Musiala should shoot, but tries to feed Olise only for the ball to roll behind his team-mate. PSG counter, zig-zagging passes and runs up the middle before releasing Doue into space down the inside-right channel. Doue enters the box and drills a low shot across Neuer and inches wide of the left-hand post. This is top-notch entertainment. This is not going to end 2-1.

35 min: … and now Dembele bombs down the middle, clear of everyone except Upamecano. The big defender blocks. But now it’s Bayern’s turn to look all over the shop at the back! It’s only 15 minutes since Olise should have put Bayern two up!

32 min: This is breathless end-to-end fun. Olise dribbles into the PSG box from the right. He skips along the byline, and his cross-cum-shot deflects off Safonov, onto the right-hand post, and back into the keeper’s arms. Then the hosts counter, Doue dancing in from the left and fizzing a shot inches wide of Neuer’s bottom left. A slight deflection, and from the corner …

31 min: From the right-hand corner of the box, Dembele smacks a power curler straight into Pavlović. He claims a penalty, and with some feeling, but the referee’s not interested. Nor is VAR. Rightly so, Pavlović having been hit on the upper arm, next to his body with his back turned.

29 min: Hakimi curls a low ball in from the right. He’s hoping to find Dembele, with a view to the striker prodding home from close range, but Neuer reads the danger and is quickly off his line to flop and smother. This is fun.

27 min: Doue advances down the right and tries to pull off the mirror image of Kvaratskhelia’s trick. Full marks for ambition, but his shot clanks into the nearest defender. How quickly the pendulum swings. This is a great match.

26 min: The Parc des Princes wasn’t exactly quiet beforehand. But Bayern’s dominance had subdued the crowd a little. Now it’s very much a different matter. And if anyone’s saying Bayern look like the best team in Europe – ahem – well, Mr Kvaratskhelia and PSG want a word.

23 min: It should have been 0-2. Now it should be 1-1. Dembele is suddenly sent scampering into an absurd amount of space down the inside-left channel. He enters the box, one on one with Neuer. He’s got Doue in the middle, but he’s within his rights to take a shot himself. And that’s what he does, nearly hitting the corner flag on the right with a monumental shank. But then …

22 min: Pacho clatters into Kane. The PSG defenders are all over the shop at the moment. “This is an unusual game of football - lively, skilful, imaginative and with some lovely progressive interplay,” observes Charles Antaki. “Football isn’t played with such brio, surely? But then I’ve been watching a lot of Arsenal recently.” Charles is an Arsenal fan, to be fair, though I look forward to your letters.

20 min: Kane picks up possession 35 yards out. He could advance and shoot, but rolls in Olise to his right. Olise is one on one with Safonov, and he’s a bit too casual in his attempt to sweep into the bottom left. The keeper gets enough on the soft shot to block, and PSG clear their lines. It should be 0-2.

19 min: … and so Bayern keep up their record of scoring in every match they’ve played this season. Just the 168 goals so far. The best team in Europe? It’s looking that way right now.

15 min: PSG work the ball right to left across the front of the Bayern box. Kvaratskhelia bursts into space. He crosses. Doue clears. Bayern counter, and …

14 min: Kimmich loops the corner in from the left. It goes right under the bar, and Safonov does extremely well to punch powerfully clear under big pressure.

13 min: Kimmich wedges the set play into the mixer, forcing Vitinha to head behind under pressure from the lurking Kane.

12 min: Diaz blazes his way down the inside-left channel before attempting to chop infield past Marquinhos. The PSG captain isn’t having that, and stands his ground. Illegally so, and goes into the book. Another free kick for Bayern, 30 yards out.

11 min: Kimmich fizzes the free kick low and right to Olise, who gets past Zaïre-Emery but can’t repeat the trick with Doue. PSG clear.

10 min: Kane takes his first touch of the ball and is abruptly clattered by Zaïre-Emery. That’ll be a free kick, 30 yards out in a central position. “Booting the ball into touch straight from the kick-off has got to be the most annoying tactical trend this season,” writes Peter Oh, teeing himself up for the punchline. “I say kick it out!”

8 min: … and then suddenly Doue makes good down the left, but his low cutback doesn’t go anywhere near a blue PSG shirt. A red Bayern one intercepts and clears.

7 min: PSG take their turn to have a go on the ball. They pass it around the back awhile, patiently so.

5 min: Olise tries down the other flank, and gets the better of Mendes, but his low cross is cut out by Safonov, who handles confidently. A lot of whistling, given Bayern’s equally confident start.

3 min: Olise tries to advance down the left but Zaïre-Emery is all over him in a flash. It’s a high-octane start, and Bayern are seeing more of the ball.

2 min: Stanišić sends a long throw down the right for Musiala, who gathers by the PSG box before returning the ball to the Bayern right-back. Stanišić crosses. Pacho heads clear. A positive start by the visitors.

PSG get the ball rolling. Or rather boot it into touch, rugby-union style. That’s football!

The teams are out! And the band strikes up …

♫ ♪ ♬ Die Meister
Die Besten
Les grandes équipes
The chaaaaaaaaaampions! ♪ 🎵 🎶

A rare old racket in the Parc des Princes, the home fans giving it plenty, the travelling contingent from Bavaria doing their best to counter the noise. We’ll be off in a minute!

Pre-match postbag. “In the city of light and all things artistic (some might say pretentious), it’s tres jolie to see your photographer going all avant garde with that image of what, in two hours time will be a very smelly (malodorous if you’re being pretentious) room (salon). Gives your buildup a certain je ne sais pas atmosphere. And…in the hometown of Les Miserables, pity the poor sod in the stands who finds himself sat next to Vincent Kompany. But they say Kompany loves misery, or something like that” – Justin Kavanagh

“Obviously the neutrals will and should be cheering on PSG. The essence of the Champions League is to help oligarchs, kleptocracies and unelected dictators gloss their tatty reputations, and I am sickened by the idea of some fan-owned Teutonic meritocracy - ugh - getting their unsullied hands on the trophy. I can’t wait for General Zod or Lord Vader to swoop down and buy a club. Or Satan” – Paul Griffin

“Are we all ready for a Neuer howler to get things going?” – krishnamoorthy v

Vincent Kompany is replaced in the Bayern dugout tonight by his assistant Aaron Danks. The 42-year-old Brummie is best known in his own country as the man who took charge of Aston Villa for two matches after the sacking of Steven Gerrard, before joining Michael Carrick’s backroom team at Middlesbrough. But he’d already worked as Kompany’s assistant at Anderlecht, and so came to Munich with his old mucker in June 2024.

As well as working with the team, Danks is also reportedly responsible for the everyday safekeeping of a cockatoo statue that has quickly become a symbol of success at Bayern. The porcelain parrot was on display in the Munich restaurant where the team watched Bayer Leverkusen draw with Freiburg last season, a result that gave Bayern the Bundesliga title, and caught the eye of one of the players, who nabbed it as a lucky charm. The following week, the cockatoo became part of Bayern’s title celebrations, and has since been spotted front and centre of their Supercup hi-jinx as well as this year’s Bundesliga party. The restaurant owner has since joked the bird “flew away to watch a great football adventure up close”.

Expect it to flap back into action should Bayern win the German Cup and/or the Champions League. Rumours that the players have named the bird Danski, after its new keeper, are unconfirmed.

Good news for Paris Saint-Germain: Vitinha starts. He’s back after two domestic games out with a right heel problem, so the holders are able to name the same starting XI that beat Liverpool 2-0 at Anfield a fortnight ago. Warren Zaïre-Emery gets the nod over Fabián Ruiz in midfield, the latter having only just recently returned from injury.

Bayern Munich boss Vincent Kompany will watch from the stand, having been handed a one-match suspension for picking up three yellow cards in this season’s tournament. The latest came during the tumultuous quarter-final victory in Munich over Real Madrid, for telling the referee how he saw it in the wake of a challenge on Josip Stanišić that didn’t lead to the award of a free kick but did lead to a Real goal. Alphonso Davies is in for Konrad Laimer, the only change to the Bayern starting XI from that match. Harry Kane, looking for his 54th goal of the season, leads the line.

♫ ♪ ♬ “Memorieeeeees light the corners of my mind …” ♪ 🎵 🎶 Here’s what happened when the teams met in the Big League phase back in November …

… plus a reminder of how things panned out in that 2020 final …

… but in the interest of balance, here’s the one time PSG have avoided defeat in their last eight meetings with Bayern, a whirlwind victory that led to their putting out the then-holders in the 2021 quarter-finals.