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What does it mean to be English? Ahead of England’s first knockout game of the World Cup, Ian McKellen and the award-winning playwright James Graham have released a short film that attempts to answer that deceptively simple question.

The film, Love Letter to England, explores and celebrates what people across the country have in common. It draws on early contributions to the National Conversation, a UK-wide initiative that began last month.

Members of the public are invited to take part by leaving a 60-second voice note sharing their views on not only supporting the England team, but also on what it means to belong and the kind of country they want to live in.

The project forms part of the work of the Independent Commission on Community and Cohesion, co-chaired by the former Conservative minister Sajid Javid and the former Labour MP and policy chief Jon Cruddas.

Graham said: “This is one of the most urgent areas of focus that we should be looking at, on a government and a local level.

“We all know it. We all feel it in our hearts that the social bonds and the things that connect us, or traditionally have connected us, are fraying and breaking. That’s been going on for a very long time. It’s political, but it’s also social, cultural and emotional.”

Graham, who wrote the play Dear England about Gareth Southgate’s time managing the England men’s team, said this was particularly true of areas such as north Nottinghamshire, where he grew up, and believed anger at the fraying of the social fabric has driven the political backlash across many areas of the country.

He framed much of this around the loss of the physical public realm. “There’s no high street, the collapse of town centres and actual places to gather and be together as a community. But it goes beyond place as well,” he said.

“The rhythm of our lives has changed. We are lonelier, more isolated and more alienated. That’s true of older people, but, upsettingly, true for young people too. They’re the loneliest generation we’ve ever had. How can that be when we have all these ways to connect us?”

The commission, convened by the charity the Together Coalition, co-founded by Brendan Cox, the widower of the murdered MP Jo Cox, aims to develop a shared vision for the country’s future at a time of deep political and social division.

Graham said of the National Conversation: “The reason this commission nailed it is that rather than being top down, it’s grassroots: you tell us what you want, based on your experience in your community. It’s an actual conversation with people, offering ideas about their lives and telling us what they miss, what they want and what they need.”

The commission will publish its findings this year, combining public submissions with academic research, expert evidence and the commissioners’ deliberations.

For Graham, tournaments such as the World Cup are a particularly useful vehicle to have this conversation. “It’s what the 20th century French sociologists called collective effervescence. It’s that fizz we all feel when, briefly, we’re part of the same story, doing the same thing, watching the same thing at the same time.”

However, Graham recognised the challenges too. “I totally understand why even being presented with this idea of Englishness and being proud of it has discomfort attached to it for some people, because parts of the population have tried to exclude them and made them feel uncomfortable. I think that’s unforgivable.”

He urged progressives to resist the temptation of abandoning Englishness and the symbols associated with it.

Recent polling showed that the number of people who believe “Britishness” is something you are born with has almost doubled in two years. The findings suggest a significant proportion of Reform UK supporters believe being white is an important national characteristic, and that Britain has become too ethnically diverse.

Graham said one powerful moment was when Rishi Sunak, while giving evidence to the Independent Commission of Community and Cohesion, described himself as “British, English and British Asian” in a riposte to increasing racially charged language used against him.

From the submissions so far, Graham said: “I was very taken with how many people have a real pride in locality and place. They’re very proud to say they’re a Yorkshireman or they’re from Sutton Coldfield.

“But among some people there’s also this feeling of, ‘I don’t know if I quite feel as proud of my country’, without necessarily being able to find the words to explain why.”

He added: “We have to listen to people about what they miss, or ask younger generations what they’d like to replace those brass bands and coal choirs with. It isn’t going to be retail that’s filling our town centres any more, so it’s going to have to be something else.”