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Late-night hosts looked back over a weekend of sporting victory in New York and national embarrassment in Washington DC.

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host said that in New York, the weekend saw “one shooting, four stabbings, 63 arrests, relatively lowkey” after the historic Knicks victory.

After showing footage of celebratory New Yorkers, he then compared it to “a sporting event that didn’t bring people together this weekend”.

Kimmel spoke about Donald Trump’s “big violent birthday party”, which saw him turn “the White House into a Waffle House” as “the orange one turning 80”.

For his birthday, the president planned a UFC match on the front lawn with “all the refinement and prestige of a Hooters at the Vatican”.

Kimmel showed footage of the event, saying it was “like a mini January 6th” with various fighters getting ready. “No one should be wearing shorts at the White House,” he said before adding that it would now smell of “jockstraps and Axe body spray”.

He joked that Melania “seemed to have fun watching someone else get trapped in a cage at the White House” while her husband’s “ankles were swelling with pride”.

Kimmel said “he almost stayed awake for the whole thing” before joking that he took a “UFC fiesta”.

“Only Donald Trump could fall asleep at a birthday party sponsored by Monster energy drink,” he said.

This week also saw his name officially removed from the Kennedy Center yet not from the “Trump-Epstein files” as Kimmel likes to call them.

The president allegedly reached an agreement with Iran which has been referred to as a “memorandum of understanding” leading the host to jokingly call Trump’s book “The Art of the Memorandum of Understanding”.

Trump is now in France for the G7 summit. “Usually when someone of Trump’s age hears G7 they shout bingo,” he joked.

Jon Stewart

On the Daily Show, Jon Stewart asked, “What kind of fucking idiot would try and dangle billions of dollars in exchange for a deal with Iran?” before showing that Trump is trying to do exactly that.

He also spoke about the Knicks victory and joked that New Yorkers handled it with an “appropriate level of chill” before showing footage of chaos in the streets.

“This whole moment really showed the joy and beauty of life in this big city,” he said.

Yet rightwing news shows tried to claim it was the opposite and that it was a violent and unsafe weekend in the city. “I was there, you’re lying,” he responded.

He said that it “couldn’t live up to your definition of a peaceful gathering” before showing footage of January 6. “To be fair to that mob, they lost,” he said.

He also spoke about Trump’s UFC party, comparing it to Las Vegas and referring to Trump as a “gladiator’s god”.

“Is this a parody?” he asked. “Are they filming Idiocracy?”

He mentioned fighter Josh Hokit’s vile comment about Michelle Obama, referring to him as a “fucking asshole”.

Stewart compared it to “a slightly more violent hooters” and said that despite rightwing coverage, “no Americans are more real than New Yorkers”.

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers said that Trump’s Iran deal has “accomplished nothing but getting us back to where we were before the war began”.

He referred to the vibe in New York over the weekend as being like a “cross between Mardi Gras, Coachella and that rave from the Matrix”.

He said it “all feels bigger than just sports” before saying that Trump’s name being taken off the Kennedy Center has people “excited” in DC.

Trump was “trying to hide an embarrassing thing but failing” with pictures showing the removal despite attempts to bury it.

He moved on to the UFC party, saying “I’m sure the founding fathers would have loved”it and reminded viewers that it only had a 16% approval rating from Americans.

The weather forecast was bad for the day which led the official White House account to call out the Weather Channel page, referring to the person who wrote the post as a friendless loser.

“I’m sorry they’re a friendless loser?” Meyers said. “OK person who just picked a fight with the Weather Channel.”

Trump’s Iran deal has included a boast about removing tolls from the strait of Hormuz. “There weren’t tolls before you started this dumbass war!” he said.