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EVERYBODY HÜRZ

When Fabian Hürzeler grumbled about Arsenal’s penchant for time-wasting ahead of their visit to the Amex Stadium, he knew exactly what levers he was pulling. While he may have been speaking to the ladies and gentlemen of the press, Brighton’s head coach was playing to a different gallery: his own team’s fans and the match officials tasked with maintaining order. By highlighting the ticking clock before a ball had even been kicked, Hürzeler effectively primed the Amex faithful to jeer and barrack every slow corner or carefully choreographed shoulder injury. More importantly, the German placed the referee in an extremely tricky position: ignore any stalling and appear weak, or brandish an early yellow and validate Hürzeler’s gamesmanship. Between his presser and kick-off, much of the discourse revolved around whether or not Arsenal are masters of the “strategic pause”, with some Social Media Disgrace users even going so far as to produce a Premier League table of time-wasting. True to form, Arsenal couldn’t even win that but it didn’t matter. Irritating their head coach was half the battle for Hürzeler, as an agitated Mikel Arteta is prone to touchline histrionics that often bleed on to the pitch and affect his players as the pressure mounts.

Sadly for Brighton, it was the other half of the battle in which Hürzeler came up short. While he may have edged the contest in the press room, for the third time this season against Arsenal, his team lost the more important one out on the grass. Despite having home advantage and playing league leaders that were nowhere near their best, Brighton squandered the few chances they created on the rare occasions they managed to put any sort of pressure on their visitors’ snake belly low block. In a football match exceedingly low on quality, arguably the best entertainment came from watching both teams’ head coaches jab accusatory fingers at each other from their technical areas, while tattling on each other to a beleaguered fourth official. The tension finally boiled over on the touchline when a fuming Hürzeler barked at Piero Hincapié to “play effing football”, as the Ecuadorian defender dithered over a throw-in. The Arsenal man simply offered a smirk and a finger to his lips, shushing the Brighton manager in a gesture that did not have the desired effect.

“I made my point before the game and I stick to it,” said Hürzeler, who took defeat predictably well. “I will never be that kind of manager who tries to win in that way. Of course, every team will manage and waste time but there has to be a limit and the limit has to be set by the Premier League. At the moment, they [Arsenal] just do what they want.” Of course in embarking on this kind of lament after a match in which his team was beaten, Hürzeler succeeded in sounding only like a sore loser, something he acknowledged up to a point. “In the end I think [against] these kinds of opponents, you can only punish [them] by winning,” he said. “So today I have no arguments on my side.” And while the absence of any arguments on his side didn’t stop the 33-year-old from presenting them at great and tedious length, here’s hoping he took on board the evening’s sobering lesson – winning the mind games is pointless if you’re only going to lose the match to a deflected shot that trickles through your goalkeeper’s legs.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Daniel Harris from 8pm (GMT) for minute-by-minute updates on Tottenham 1-1 Crystal Palace.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I fully accept responsibility for my actions and understand the seriousness of this matter. I have taken steps to ensure it will not happen again. Due to the nature of my role, I will ensure I take the steps to address the issue” – Palace manager Oliver Glasner, in a handwritten note, fails to persuade Willesden magistrates court not to ban him from driving for the next six months after breaking one of London’s 20mph speed limits.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

I found the text accompanying yesterday’s Memory Lane (full email edition) with Thierry Henry and Tony Adams playing basketball during Arsenal training quite illuminating. Having just looked at the accompanying photo first, I’d assumed it was taken at the Republic of Ireland v France World Cup playoff second leg from 2009” – Phil Taverner (and others).

As you suggested in yesterday’s Memory Lane, Tony Adams may indeed have struggled to perform as an NBA guard. But with his extraordinary ability to frequently raise his right arm to great heights, he would surely have been an All-Star shot blocker” – Gareth Rogers.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Gareth Rogers, who gets a Football Weekly mug or scarf. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Join Robyn Cowen, Barry Glendenning and the pod squad for the latest episode of Football Weekly. And here’s Faye Carruthers, Suzy Wrack and the Women’s Football Weekly crew with a review of England’s emphatic 6-1 win over Ukraine in World Cup qualifying.

PLAYOFF PAYOFF

Big news for the teams finishing seventh and eighth in the Championship next season – those positions will be enough for a place in the post-season promotion jamboree. A proposal by the EFL board to add quarter-finals to the playoffs from 2026-27 was approved by EFL clubs on Thursday. The change will mean the fifth-placed team welcomes the eighth-placed team for a one-off game, while sixth and seventh do likewise. In short, the National League system. It opens up the prospect of some purist-bothering point differentials – third-placed Sheffield United finished a cool 24 points ahead of eighth-placed Millwall last season – but also means it’s likely more than half the division has something to play for down the final straight. And it could mean some interesting glass-half-full/empty dichotomies: if it had been brought in this season, 17th-placed Norwich might fancy their chances of promotion even at this stage, while not really being 100% certain of avoiding the drop.

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS

In today’s edition of our sister newsletter, Sarah Rendell talks to Southampton’s Amy Goddard about the centre-back’s Bells palsy diagnosis.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Australia beat Iran 4-0 in at the Women’s Asian Cup. Iran’s players on this occasion performed a salute and sang the anthem, though Iranian fans in the crowd whistled, booed and beat drums in an attempt to drown out the music.

Celtic moved into second place in the Scottish Premiership with a crucial 2-1 win at Aberdeen.

Will Osula’s superb strike secured 10-man Newcastle a 2-1 win over Manchester United on Wednesday night. “Moments like this are top for the whole of Newcastle,” he cheered.

Elliot Anderson’s fine equaliser dented Manchester City’s title hopes at the City Ground as Pep Guardiola’s side were held to a 2-2 draw by Nottingham Forest.

João Pedro’s hat-trick took Chelsea to a thumping 4-1 win at Aston Villa. “It was another dream night for me,” he roared.

STILL WANT MORE?

Football’s converging moral panics hold up a mirror to our fractured world, writes Jonathan Liew.

QPR’s Jonathan Varane gets his chat on with Ed Aarons: ‘Football is a big part of my life, but it’s not everything’

Wrexham host Chelsea this weekend. It took three matches in nine days to separate the teams when they met in 1982. Steven Pye on an FA Cup epic.

MEMORY LANE

October 1959, and Bill Nicholson’s Spurs are 11-and-a-half games into an unbeaten start to the season, and on their way to making it 12 with a 5-1 win at White Hart Lane over Wolves. Nobody’s watching it, because Jayne Mansfield is holding court in the posh seats.

GOOL PERAN LOWEN