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THE GRAND BUDAPEST CARTEL

The state-owned football team it’s OK to like (and proof that sportswashing works), Paris Saint-Germain booked their place in Bigger Cup final courtesy of a draw against Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena. Like Shaun Murphy in Monday’s night’s thrilling denouement of the World Snooker Championship at the Crucible Theatre, the German champions didn’t do a great deal wrong and were similarly gracious in defeat despite their obvious disappointment. “The level of both teams was very, very high,” sighed Vincent Kompany as he ruminated on his team’s exit. “PSG have so much quality, they’ve probably been the best team in Europe in the last two years.” A team that is currently so good it was forced to replace deadweight no-marks such as Kylian Mbappé, Lionel Messi and Neymar to finally shed their tag as Bigger Cup nearlymen and bottlers, the willingness of their replacements to do the dirty work of defending played no small part in helping PSG get over the line.

For all their graciousness in defeat, Bayern’s departure from the tournament wasn’t entirely unclouded by rancour. It was understandable considering that ultimately, they were diddled by a PSG penalty in the first leg that should never have been awarded. On Wednesday Bayern felt further aggrieved by two more handball decisions that didn’t go their way, one of which turned out to be entirely correct and an initial one that still doesn’t look entirely incorrect after multiple viewings. “It’s astonishing, to say the least, that a referee with only 15 [Bigger Cup] appearances is allowed to take charge of such a match,” parped Bayern CEO Jan-Christian Dreesen of Portuguese referee João Pinheiro’s performance. “And that perhaps also explains some of the decisions.”

While Mikel Arteta, his coaching staff and Ben White will spend the next couple of weeks lying awake wondering how best to solve a problem like Khvicha Kvaratskhelia without creating 99 others elsewhere, no end of Arsenal and PSG fans will endure similarly sleepless nights stressing over how they will get tickets for the final in Budapest. With just 16,824 general admission tickets going to each club, almost exactly half of the 67,215 capacity of the Puskas Arena will be reserved for “friends” of the dysfunctional “Uefa family”. While 10,000 fans from each club will get tickets for a reasonably priced €70, the next cheapest are twice that amount while the most expensive Category A admission slips are just shy of a grand. With airlines and Budapest boarding houses also shamelessly muscling in on the gouging act, many Arsenal fans will consider the small fortune begged, borrowed or stolen a small price to pay for the privilege of watching Arteta’s Fun Boat™ drop anchor in the Danube.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join John Brewin from 8pm BST for hot Bigger Vase semi-final updates from Aston Villa 2-1 Nottingham Forest (agg: 2-2 aet; 4-3 on pens), while Niall McVeigh will be at the wheel with full coverage of Crystal Palace 2-1 Shakhtar Donetsk (agg: 5-2) in the last four of Tin Pot.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

10pm 6 May: “I’m excited by what the future holds for this amazing group of players” – Manchester City boss Andrée Jeglertz pays tribute to his team after they ended Chelsea’s run of six consecutive WSL titles, crowned champions after Arsenal could only draw 1-1 at Brighton.

10.30am 7 May: WSL top-scorer Bunny Shaw decides to leave Manchester City this summer at the end of her contract.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Doing some half-hearted/@rsed research of potential Bigger Vase finalists, Braga, I drifted into a section about the city’s famous old inhabitants. One of these was a 16th-century skeptic philosopher called Francisco Sanches, who claimed that nobody knows anything, particularly those who say they do. With a European campaign – that was helmed, briefly, by both Big Ange and Sean Dyche (et al) – potentially ending in an unlikely final, Forest seem to have proved old Fran-San’s point” – Andrew Boulton.

It’s interesting that Declan Rice thinks that Arsenal’s achievements can’t be underestimated (yesterday’s Football Daily). The only things that can’t be underestimated are things that are extremely small. Anything large can easily be underestimated” – Bob Cushion (and others).

Maybe Chester and Wrexham (yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition) could go down the Forest/Derby route and rename the A483 to ‘Phil Parkinson Way’?” – Jim Hearson.

Am I the only one who saw this fine picture of Pep Guardiola and Jordan Pickford at the Hill Dickinson Stadium on Monday night and thought: ‘All this really needs is the addition of an ‘I’ and an ‘S’ to be perfect?’” – Adam Sherlock.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Adam Sherlock, who gets a copy of Classic Football Shirts. It’s out now and the Guardian Bookshop is offering discounted copies here if you’re not successful. The are loads of other top reads on their website, too. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here. 

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Get your ears around the latest episode of Football Weekly, in which Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, Mark Langdon and Archie Rhind-Tutt get their PSG chat on and discuss how Arsenal fans now don’t have to worry about the prospect of Harry Kane winning Bigger Cup at their expense.

FUN & GAMES IN SOUTH AMERICA DEPT

Neymar, you’ll well know by now, is rarely out of the public eye in Brazil. And the Seleção’s all-time top scorer has seemingly been doing his level best to keep things that way, after being forced to apologise to teenage Santos teammate Robinho Jr for slapping him during training. As you do. According to Brazilian media, the handbags apparently occurred because Neymar didn’t appreciate being dribbled past by the 18-year-old. “If you want an apology in front of the press, here it is. I had already apologised to him and to his family. I crossed the line,” sniffed Neymar after scoring in their 1-1 Copa Sudamericana draw against Recoleta in Paraguay. “He’s a boy I like very much, for whom I have a special affection. It happens in football.”

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Jan-Christian Dreesen is not the only one that took Bayern’s defeat to PSG badly. “We have to look at some of the phases that were decided by the officials across the two games,” wailed the trendy Belgian Vincent Kompany. “It’s never an excuse for everything but it matters. If we look at both legs probably too much went against us.”

The latest Premier League accounts show just how much chief suit Richard Masters has been trousering in the gig: £2.6m, including £1.1m from a longstanding incentive scheme in 2024-25.

Manchester City Women won the Women’s Super League title after Arsenal failed to beat Brighton but will lose star striker Khadija Shaw, who is on track to win the WSL Golden Boot for the third straight season, this summer. Read Tom Garry’s exclusive.

A big win for Liverpool supporters: The club has reduced plans to increase season ticket prices for the next three seasons, reports Andy Hunter.

Fifa confirmed a global ban for Gianluca Prestianni that will rule the Benfica winger out of two World Cup games in the US if he is selected by Argentina.

Victorian premier Jacinta Allan has overturned a decision not to screen Socceroos matches at Federation Square in Melbourne after protests.

Exclusive story by Matt Hughes: The Independent Football Regulator (IFR) has been urged to stop Premier League clubs from accepting sponsorship from gambling companies unlicensed in the UK.

Sad times for fans of a certain age: Panini World Cup sticker albums will become a thing of the past after the centenary finals in 2030.

STILL WANT MORE?

“I was just a little freak in the works.” Jamie Vardy gets his chat on with Nick Ames about his rollercoaster career.

Khvicha Kvaratskhelia is the perfect attacking scalpel for PSG’s surgical brilliance. Arsenal, beware, warns Barney Ronay.

But the Gunners no longer fear falling short and now have a clear sight of immortality, retorts David Hytner.

Who will join Coventry and Ipswich in the top flight: Millwall, Hull City, Middlesbrough or Southampton? Matt Furniss has crunched the numbers for you.

The story of Manchester City’s WSL title triumph. By Tom Garry, who also dishes out his player-by-player ratings for their season.

Sid Lowe questions whether the curtains will close on Diego Simeone’s 15-year spell at Atlético Madrid and what that means for the club.

And Jonathan Liew wants you to imagine eating an entire dover sole with the bones left in, all while under the gaze of Trevor Francis, to lead you into this piece about Michael Carrick and Manchester United.

MEMORY LANE

May 1985 and Charlie Nicholas shares some mirth-making with strongman Geoff Capes and the Duke of Edinburgh, during a Variety Club of Great Britain Luncheon at London’s trendy Cafe Royal.

WE BE JUGGLING