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On the subject of getting trains to Speke and buses to Jump (Letters, 10 June), I remember an alarming experience when, as a child, I was allowed to catch a train home through East Anglia on my own for the first time. Realising too late that I had boarded the wrong train, I asked the conductor what to do, and was informed that I wouldn’t be able to get off until March. This happened in November and I only had a packed lunch with me.
Ben Howison
Limpley Stoke, Wiltshire

• As a bus driver in Belfast during the 1970s, I was always grateful for the opportunity, when asked “Does this bus go over the Albert Bridge?”, to be able to reply “Well, if it doesn’t there’ll be a hell of a splash.”
Dugald McCullough
Newcastle, County Down

• Woman to the driver on boarding a London bus: “Are you going to Turnham Green?” Driver: “No, lady, I’m going to paint ’em yellow.”
Claude Scott
Richmond, London

• When on the Northern line of the tube and it is announced “The next station is Oval”, I always rebut it with a simple “No, it isn’t!”
Jerry Stuart
London

• We are not the only ones to make placename jokes. One of the commuter terminuses in Tokyo is Kikuna, which appears on the front of the engine. Kiku-na also means “Don’t ask me”. It is therefore not too difficult to guess the amusing answer to the question “Where does that train go?”
Robert Charlesworth
London

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